Psychobablequack!
Fear_The_Duckie
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit Fear_The_Duckie's Xanga Site!

Name: Duckie
Country: United States
State: District of Columbia
Metro: Washington D.C.
Birthday: 3/27/1987
Gender: Male


Interests: Movies: Kill Bill, Moulin Rouge, Mean Girls, Jurassic Park, The Fifth Element. Authors: Arthur C. Clark, Michael Crichton, J. K. Rowling, K. A. Applegate. Subjects: Philosophy, writing
Expertise: Making KICK ASS powerpoint presentations, WRITING (check out my book over at www.saravellainvestigation.blogspot.com)
Occupation: Student


Message: message me


Member Since: 3/2/2005

SubscriptionsSites I Read
smileformetoday
graysonheat
SarahKiddo
steven8693
punk8d
midnightbunny
Pinkpearls612
chocomytoco
ty_davis
justleftofbrilliance
cali_surfer_788
Prep2Punkd
savethepoptarts
grahukantar
Soccerkickz65
driven_by_your_love

Blogrings
*GreenDay*
previous - random - next

*Alternate Reality Games*
previous - random - next

[ The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad ]
previous - random - next

Billie Joe/Green Day!!
previous - random - next

I'm Not Tall, You're Just Short
previous - random - next

I Love Margaret Cho
previous - random - next

BUSH IS NOT MY PRESIDENT!!!
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Almost five months have gone by since I stopped updating this blog (for anyone who randomly stumbles upon this my new one is xtheduckiex, though I've kinda been updating that a lot less often too)

I don't know why I decided to visit this today, but I kinda feel like I discovered a brand new person. A lot has changed over the months. I had my first real relationship, my first real break up. I started coming out (I say started because, in all fairness, you never just "come out." Because you always meet new people, it will always be a process). I started college.

My music tastes have changed. My orientation has too (well, only what I say it is... I think its probably always the same, but I just couldn't tell you what it is). And I'm a much more serious blogger.

And despite the fact that my entries are no longer insanely peppy, I'm more happy than I ever have been in my life.


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Currently Playing
Breakaway
By Kelly Clarkson
SINCE U BEEN GONE
see related

Hokay, so after a brief lil terror there, I think I'm ok. I may indeed need a new blog, but what the hey? I'll have xanga premium and I'll still visit yall to tell you where my new home is.

So. Today.

After a fairly good practice, I hopped in the car with Bates and Damon to go get a sub at Quiznos. I'm nervous the whole time we're in there, cause I'm steeling myself... I'm gonna tell them I'm bi. Today. I gotta. And then maybe I'll have to make em understand, spend a good amount of time talking about it... thinking about ways to bring it up, reinforce that you shouldn't spread this stuff around...

We leave the store and I take a deeeeep breath. I tell Bates I got something to tell him... here goes!

Me: um, I'm bi?
Bates: Really? huh.
Me: Yup
Bates: Well, that was random. Thanks for telling me.
Damon decides to hop in the car. Maybe this is when it will get interesting.

Me: Hey, Damon, I'm bisexual.
Damon: (no hesitation) whatever floats your boat.

 

And all I can think is... wooooow. That was beyond easy. It wasn't quite like coming out at all, more like just commenting on another aspect of the day. They're fine with it.

I couldn't really bring it up again cause then REGIS hops in the car, and, ultraconservative that he is, I think it might, just maybe, be wise to NOT tell him.

But I still know they're ok with it, cause... NOTHING changed.

We rode through Georgetown. WIth the windows down, and the stereo cranked, dancing to the music of KELLY CLARKSON for gods sake and waving our shirts around.

I'm sorry, but if thats not acceptance I don't know what is.

So put todays feeling down as....

HAPPY!

O<

PS-- I can't get online tonight. My interem means early bedtime and monitored computer time.... it sucks. Thinking of all of you!

pps-- leave me comments: should I start a new blog?


Currently Playing
American Idiot
By Green Day
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
see related

Kaff! I just kinda made a very big blunder

K, So I found some freshman at my school who have xanga, and I've been resisting the temtation to comment... and failing... so I commented as Sarah Kiddo and then

WHOOPS!

commented as myself. While I don't want to delete the blog, this isn't the ideal way to come out to the team. So half my stuff went to protected, I am working very hard to make sure there aren't any blatant traces to my sexual orientation... but hey, maybe I'll tell em anyway. They seem like Liberal kids.

IN ANY CASE I promised myself to come out to whatever scale I "need to" by the end of the year. So... maybe that mistake was one giant step in that direction.

 

//UPDATE as of 83105, my only tampering with this old material. Much later the truth did come out. And I'm glad it did.


Sunday, April 17, 2005

New entry! Wow!

Just thought I would list some lyrics to songs for those of you I can think of. I'm sorry I don't have a song for all of you, yet. Plus I only have time to post a few. Want to know what I think your song is? comment and lemme know you wanna know!

Note: the lyrics are sometimes changed to be more appropriate to the subject at hand...

<-- hey look its Jason Mraz. I'm dating him...

For Bright Eyes:
Jason Mraz- Bright Eyes

Bright lights, big city
Was quite extraordinary.
The day was pretty.
I was in perfect company.

The love of a lifetime,
Since we were elementary friends;
The one with the bright eyes..

Why can't I be optimistic?
I tried to find the logic logically.
I had a dream and I could not shake it.
I was standing up there naked.

There's fear in the truth at hand, frozen I forgot to understand
The live keep living; growing older more into a man..
And I let her grow away from me.

Love.. love is not pretending.
Time.. time was meant for mending
Memories into all is satisfactory,
Healthy smiles fill the page the day we spent in miles.
And I let her drive away from me.

The one with the bright eyes
Laughed her way inside this music box;
Stored away in the corner of my heart. And I let her get away from me

But I'll never take that day away from me.

(OK, so it doesn't make sense at all, but I still think of ya when I hear it)

For PinkSuzie:
Green Day- Whatsername

Thought I ran into you down on the street,
Then it turned out to only be a dream,
I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face,
But I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Seems that she disappeared without a trace,
Did she every marry old what's his face,
I made a point to burn all of the photographs,
She went away and then I took a different path,
I remember the face,
But I can't recall the name,
Now I wonder how whatsername has been

Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
Remember, whatever,
It seems like forever ago,
The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
I must confess,
The regrets are useless,
In my mind,
She's in my head,
From so long ago

And in the darkest night,
If my memory serves me right,
I'll never turn back time

Forgetting you, but not the time


Paul-- assuming you read this--
Ozone- Dragostea Din Tei! In English

Hello, hi, it's me, an outlaw,
and please, my love, accept happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso,
I gave you a call and I'm neat,
But you must know I'm asking you nothing.

Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me of your eyes

I gave you a call, to tell you what I feel now.
Hello, my love, it's me, happiness.
Hello, hello, it's me again, Picasso,
I gave you a call and I'm neat
But you must know I'm asking you nothing.

Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me your eyes


Chorus:
You want to go but you don't, you don't take me with you
You don't, you don't take me with you, you don't, you don't, you don't take me with you
Your face and the love under the linden tree
remind me of your eyes

Thats it for now! There are more... but I'm not movin on til I get some more comments!

<3

O<   !


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

So tomorow is a National Day of Silence.

Since I'm not exactly out to my school, I don't think silence will help a lot, nor will it be easily explained (unless I learn sign language for "no, Mr. Smith. It's not about rebellion against YOU!")

Its a day where we are reminded how so many kids out there (like... me) live out their high school lives in silence about their sexuality.

So I guess I'll participate.

 

Bleagh, I need to get on task witht he interesting posts again.



Next 5 >>

Duckie!
Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com
Move your feet

You must have QuickTime installed to view this movie.

The brilliant new video by Junior Senior.
Posted because we wanted to share the love (and our bandwidth).

Need some lovely pixel fonts? Try ones from Atomic Media at Veer.

Music Copyright © Junior Senior
Video by Shynola

 

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com